My Butt Itches

Deer Diary,

Today I woke up with a terrible case of the itchy butts. Perhaps it was an infestation of ticks or fleas. It could have been the berries I ate two days ago causing a histamine release. Either way, it’s really tough to scratch that area with my teeth. Fortunately my antlers are growing to back-scratching lengths.

I look forward to the day I can back that thing up to a rough white oak and get a good scratch on.